Last wish
by PoPLucK
Summary: one shot that tell what Light thought before he died.


**Last Wish.**

**Disclaimer: death note is not mine, if L and Light mine, well I will make them married instead killing each other!!!hehehehe… it is the property of Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata, I don't make any money from writing this.**

**Warning: language**

**Summary: one shot that tell what Light thought before he died.**

**Review please!!!And don't flame me if you don't like it! It hurt so much!!! Hehehehe…just give me some good critic so I can make it better!! Okay!!!! n_n**

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If I can change…

if I can choose…

And back into that time… a time when we're together…

A time when we share our life, our fate, our time and our happiness…will I choose to forget my dream??? Or will I choose to not love you? Humph…I wonder…which one would make me better now…

Because…living my life without you…now is almost impossible…

Being happy without you now is almost impossible …

I'm smiling…but my heart cries every time I missed you…

I'm happy…but my chest feels so heavy and its make me want to choke…

Why L…

Why… even thought you already leave me forever…your scent, your smile, your voice, your warmth and everything I ever taste about you…still linger on me as strong as when you're alive…

I hate it.

I absolutely hate it.

Because it's make me suffer so much!!!! If I know…living my live without you could kill me like this…I will choose to kill myself…I will choose not to meet you…I will choose not want to see you died in my arm…smiling…

Oh God…I never know…that loving someone can be so hurtful…and even thought I never believe that you exist…and I never believe in fate…but here I'm now…half dying and waiting my time to come…so in the end…I still want to have my last word…and I want to you to know…the one that kill Kira is not this damn brat called Near or something…fuck…I have to admit it to you…because at least I hope you will tell it to him…I hope…even thought I know this is impossible…you'll tell L…that Kira already dead when I love him…kira already died when I lost him…kira already dead when I miss him.

And in the end…I let Near to kill me…because I already died too…when he leave me…but of course, I must make it look so cool…Kira death must look so excruciatingly and have a bit action…who could blame me to want that??

But…even I'm death…I can't meet you…it obvious right??? You'll stay in high and might heaven…and I… huuuuh…I don't want to think about it now…it's so pathetic…and I don't like to mourn about my fuking next fate when I died…

It's all you fault L.

And you know what??? I hate you L. I still fuking hate you because you can make me became like this...

But I still miss you so much…

I miss those eyes. Those big black and deep eyes that always look at me with so much enthusiasm when we fight, when we had an argument or when we had sex. Those eyes can make me feel so calm and so nervous and of course…it can arouse me so much when you look like some wild animal that want to eat its prey. Hehehehe…

So much enthusiasm for me…that's what I loved from you L. And I miss those eyes so badly now…

I miss those lips. Those sweet soft lips that very skilled…and always know how I want to be kissed…and those lips always can make me so agitated when we have verbal war…it never can bore me…you lips I mean…

And I miss your warmth too…your hug, your voice…and your gentleness for me…because no one ever give that to me, or no one can ever give that the same way you give me…you hug me with so much vigor but you still can treat me like something so precious and you fill the coldness in my heart with those pleasant warmth feeling that make my stomach full with butterfly.

L, everything you do make me feels alive…and when you died…I don't know how to survive…how to survive from the big hole that hovering in my heart and the ache in my chest that killing me everyday…

I regret it…I hope I never know that warmth…I hope I never know what it means to be alone…to feel lonely…I'm so fuking fine…until I meet you, L…

Shit. Why I'm crying now…why my dying time feels so fucking long…where those stupid shinigami when I need him…Quick…take my life away…I can't stand this feeling…

I can't stand it…

L…you know what…I think I know now why you said I'm a coward back then…

I'm coward because I'm afraid to love you so I choose to hate you, and I'm afraid my mask will slip so I kill you, but in the end I'm afraid to live alone without you so I let Near kill me…I even afraid to said it…I never said those words…those three words you always say every time you hold me…you always say it…you always say you love me…but I'm afraid to say it back…and I'm more afraid to lied about it…because I'm afraid when I say it…even as lies…I will truly love you…I kill you without telling you my true feeling…but you still smiling…why L…why…

Why you still love me…why I have to kill you….why I have to love you….why I have to meet you…

But…

I love you L. I love you so much. And I still love you now. You are my first real love. And I think I can died peacefully by full acknowledge my feeling and I hope…the god…the wind…the bird or anything…will deliver it to you one day…my confession of love…hehehehe…

Oh…in the end…at least this stupid shinigami appear…I think my time is come…

So my last wish is…I hope you'll be happy in your next life….if it exist…and never meet someone like me again…some one that loves you so much…but still can kill you…

I wish your utmost happiness. Forever.

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Review please!!!!**

**Hehehehe…I hope I don't make it so clinche…**


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